Thank You, My Body
I wanted to write about this topic yesterday, but it turns out I do it right now. It's okay.
I got the call to write about it while wiping my face with milk cleanser before going to take a bath in the evening. I looked at my own face alone in front of the mirror and then I realized something like:
Oh, poor body. I've worked hard to wake up till this second with this skin, these eyes, this brain, this body, but I'm still feeling not enough for it. I give and take burden to my mind over and over, and feel I'm not enough for it. Even to myself, am I that cruel?
Maybe. Maybe I've pushed myself too hard. Maybe I've felt bad about myself too much. I admit it, I did. But I don't exactly know the parameter of being "hard" to myself to be honest. I'm sure everyone has their particular limit in themselves. Instead of getting stressed out about the parameter that even won't assure anything if I get it, isn't it better to take time to overcome the bad feeling?
Appreciating my body as worth as what I've done.
That's the thing I'm struggling so bad.
Few days before, situation got me to tell to my friend that she is enough as herself. I thought a bit hard then texted her such an essay which was for me, it was a long message. In the same body, I was like omg I figured out something important for myself tho! Then the more I feel not enough about myself, the more I remember about that message. My favorite point is:
You, yourself with all of your own strenghts and flaws, you are enough for people who appeciate you, someplace where needs you, and anything you have today. Maybe there are still many things you want to improve and become better then, it's okay. Getting ready for the worst is okay. But still, being hard to yourself for something you don't have at this time shouldn't make you to worry too much because present you is enough to go with you, together in effort to reach your better way of life.
So, in my process to accept myself and every changes come with it, no matter how messy it's been, I hope I'm be able to keep going and say "thank you, my body" instead of blaming what I've done and got.
#30haribercerita
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